Grief Doesn't Need a Reason - It Just Shows Up
- May 19
- 2 min read
Grief doesn't arrive with a reason you can show people.
It just arrives. At 7am on a Wednesday. In the middle of a perfectly ordinary supermarket. In the car, again, on the way home from something that should have been fine.
And nobody tells you that in midlife the grief isn't always about a person. It's about a version of yourself. A life you thought you were living. A woman you were mid-way through becoming when menopause walked in and rearranged everything without asking.
Here's what I know now.
The story you tell yourself about who you were supposed to be by now — that's not the truth. That's just a story. And you are not your story.
You are the one who notices the story.
Which means you can put it down.
Not the grief. The grief needs to be felt — all the way through, not managed, not minimised, not yoga'd away. The grief is doing something. It's clearing the ground. It's burning off everything that was never really yours.
What you can put down is the verdict.
The one that says you've missed it. That it's too late. That the woman you were going to be has somehow already gone without you.
She hasn't gone.
She's just waiting on the other side of the grief you haven't let yourself feel yet.
So feel it. Properly. In the car if you need to. In the supermarket if it comes for you there. Let it be ugly and inconvenient and without a tidy reason.
And then — when it's moved through — look up.
There she is.
Women who refuse to suffer politely live here.
Love from Missy Moo x
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