Things I Wish Someone Had Bloody Warned Me About Before Menopause
- Mar 23
- 3 min read
For most of my life, menopause was explained to me like it was a minor inconvenience. You know, hot flushes, night sweats, maybe a fan on the bedside table, that was it. Apparently one day you just get a bit warm, buy breathable pyjamas, and carry on with your life like nothing’s happened.
What a load of absolute bollocks.
Because when menopause actually arrived, it didn’t politely knock on the door. It kicked the bloody thing in and started rearranging the furniture in my brain. And there are a few things I seriously wish someone had warned me about.
The Rage
Nobody tells you about the rage. Not normal irritation. I’m talking about the kind of fury where someone asks an innocent question and suddenly you’re ready to burn down civilisation. Nick — my husband and the most patient man alive — once asked me what was for dinner. A perfectly reasonable question. But menopause had other plans. In my head I was thinking:
Why is it always my responsibility to know what’s for dinner? Why do women carry the entire mental load of the household while everyone else just wanders around asking questions?
Nick blinked. I took a deep breath. Then I said, very calmly,
“Honestly Nick, if one more person asks me what’s for dinner I might lose my fucking mind.”
Poor man made tea and backed away slowly.
The Brain Fog
I used to be organised. Sharp. Capable. Now there are days where my brain feels like someone shook it like a snow globe full of nonsense.
I’ve:
walked into rooms and forgotten why
looked for my phone while holding it
opened the fridge and stared into it like it held the meaning of life
Nick will gently say, “You alright?” And I’ll say, “My brain has just fucked off for the afternoon.”
The Emotional Whiplash
Another thing nobody warns you about? Your emotions go completely rogue. You can be absolutely fine one minute. Then suddenly crying because your toast burned or because a dog looked sad in an advert. You sit there wondering if you’re losing your mind. But actually it’s just hormones running through your body like a bunch of drunk teenagers smashing buttons.
The Exhaustion
Menopause tired is a completely different beast. This isn’t “I need an early night” tired.
This is:
“I slept eight hours and still feel like I’ve run a marathon through emotional quicksand” tired.
Your body feels different. Your energy disappears. And the world still expects you to show up exactly the same way you always have. Which, frankly, is complete bullshit.
But Here’s the Plot Twist
Something else happens during menopause that nobody talks about enough. In the middle of the chaos… The brain fog. The rage. The exhaustion. You start seeing things very fucking clearly. The things you tolerated. The expectations you carried. The polite silence women are trained to live inside. And slowly, something shifts. You start saying no. You start questioning things. You stop bending yourself into impossible shapes just to keep everyone else comfortable. And honestly? That part might be the most powerful part of all.
The Truth
Menopause isn’t just hot flushes. It’s an identity shake-up. A hormone hurricane. A midlife reckoning. But it can also be the moment you stop apologising for who you are. Which is exactly why Moolife exists. Because women deserve somewhere to talk about the things we’ve been told to keep quiet about.
Menopause.
Mental health.
Marriage.
Identity.
Reinvention.
No sugarcoating.
No pretending everything is fine.
Just women telling the truth — even when that truth is messy, emotional, and occasionally full of swear words. And if your body feels like it’s staging a full-scale rebellion right now… Take a breath. You’re not broken. You’re just entering the loud side of midlife. And trust me — once you get here, it’s pretty bloody powerful.
— with love from Missy Moo
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