One day you wake up and realise you’ve been running a full-time, unpaid career as everyone’s emotional support human. Organiser. Peacemaker. Chief Comfort Officer. No salary. No holidays. No bloody recognition. And then your brain snaps like— “Excuse me… WHO approved my job description??” Midlife isn’t just hormones, darling. It ’s a full corporate exit from a role you never even applied for. You stop volunteering. You start declining. You unsubscribe from other peopl

For most of my life, menopause was explained to me like it was a minor inconvenience. Y ou know, hot flushes, night sweats, maybe a fan on the bedside table, that was it. Apparently one day you just get a bit warm, buy breathable pyjamas, and carry on with your life like nothing’s happened. What a load of absolute bollocks. Because when menopause actually arrived, it didn’t politely knock on the door. It kicked the bloody thing in and started rearranging the furniture in