Gloves Off and Knickers Up: My Night at The Big Knickers Network

Artwork by MissyMooArt

There's a special kind of woman who, instead of looking you up and down, looks you in the eye and says, "There's room for both of us to shine, love."

No measuring. No competing. No side-eye at your choice of shoes. Just a cracking nudge to stop playing small and start investing in yourself.

Last week I found myself in a room full of exactly those women, at The Big Knickers Network. And yes, the name alone had me hooked.

Hold on to your bra straps

I'd been invited by the fabulous Rachel Peru and Tina Boden, and our host for the evening was Debbie Heely, owner of The Fitting Room in Ilkley.

Now, what Debbie doesn't know about bras isn't worth knowing. This woman is basically a boob whisperer. She's also deeply knowledgeable and genuinely compassionate about women who've had breast surgery, which matters more than any underwire ever will.

I learnt more about my boobs in one evening than I have in 55 years of carting them about. Fifty-five years! The girls deserved better, and frankly, so did I.

Here's the thing. We'd never squeeze our feet into shoes that pinched, rubbed and slowly wrecked them. So why the bloody hell are so many of us doing it to our breasts? Ladies, it's time for a fitting. Your shoulders will thank you. Your posture will thank you. And the girls will finally stop staging a breakout every time you bend down.

The room itself was something else. Laughter, kindness, a bit of filth (the good kind), and a whole crowd of women who genuinely wanted each other to win. I came home feeling warm right through. And no, that wasn't the hot flush.

Meet the knicker-wielding troublemakers

I've known Rachel and Tina for over ten years, and these two don't just build women up. They build women up and then hand them a megaphone.

Rachel is a successful curve model and body-confidence champion who started modelling in her forties, proving that the fashion industry's "use by" date on women is total codswallop. She's spent years shaking up its tiny, beige idea of what beautiful looks like.

Tina is a fierce advocate for women in midlife and founder of the Making Midlife Matter Collective. She's on a mission to get women to stop shrinking themselves to fit someone else's idea of acceptable, and she's not asking nicely.

Together? A rather fabulous force. Possibly a small weather system.

And these two will happily get their kit off for the rest of us, just to prove a point. Which brings me to...

AWWA: Accepting Who We Are

In June 2025, Rachel and Tina launched AWWA, Accepting Who We Are, a body-confidence movement giving the two-fingered salute to the ridiculous expectations heaped on women, especially as we get older.

And quite frankly, it's about bloody time.

For decades we've been told how to look, what to weigh, what to wear and, the real kicker, how to age. Erase the wrinkles. Suck in the tummy. Hide the cellulite. Look 35 at 55, ideally while making it seem effortless and smelling faintly of coconut.

It's exhausting. And it's absolute nonsense.

AWWA flips that on its head. It's about real women, real bodies and real lives. It calls out ageism, champions body confidence and reminds us that we don't suddenly turn invisible on our fiftieth birthday like some menopausal Harry Potter cloak.

Real women in the window

Here's where it gets brilliant. Rachel and Tina have stood in shop windows as real-life mannequins, wearing lingerie and swimwear, showing passers-by what actual women's bodies look like.

Not airbrushed. Not filtered. Not tweaked until every lump, bump and wrinkle has been digitally deported.

Just women. Gorgeous, ordinary, extraordinary women. With bits. Glorious bits.

They've also rounded up women on Yorkshire's beaches to don their cossies and feel the sea air in places that haven't seen daylight since 1997. Freedom, sisters. No judgement, just wind in your hair and sand in your gusset.

Let's be honest for a minute

Body confidence isn't about gazing into the mirror and adoring every dimple. Let's be real, some days you'll look at your bum and think, "Well. That's happened."

It's about getting to the point where the way you look stops deciding how you live.

It's wearing the cossie. Getting in the photo. Booking the holiday. Going to the party. And refusing to put your life on hold until you've lost a stone, toned your tummy or become some imaginary "better" version of yourself who, let's face it, doesn't eat biscuits.

So go on, be honest:

How many photos have you deleted because of your arms?

How many sunny days have you spent sweltering under a kaftan?

How many times have you looked at a photo and gone straight for the double chin, instead of remembering the belly laugh you were having when it was taken?

And the big one: how much of your one gorgeous life have you spent believing you weren't quite good enough?

Why this matters more than knickers

AWWA isn't really about lingerie or swimwear. It's about self-worth, identity, mental wellbeing and all the rubbish women have been fed about themselves since they were tiny.

I work in mental health, and I care fiercely about women's wellbeing, so I know how deep those messages can bury themselves. Body shame doesn't pack its bags and leave when you hit a certain age. Sometimes it moves in, puts its feet up and quietly runs the show for decades, shaping our relationships, our confidence and the chances we let ourselves take.

So when I see women like Rachel and Tina out there, making a racket and rattling the cage? I'm stood at the back cheering with my bra in the air.

We need more of this.

More women cheering on other women.

More talk about ageing without the shame.

More photos of real bodies, wobbles and all.

More laughter, friendship and acceptance, and a hell of a lot fewer apologies for taking up space.

Because our bodies have carried us through a ridiculous amount of life. Heartbreak, motherhood for some, grief, illness, menopause, love, loss, questionable dance moves and everything in between.

Don't you think they've earned a bit of kindness?

Go and find them (that's an order)

If you haven't met Rachel and Tina yet, get yourself over to their pages. It's refreshing, empowering and just what we all need.

• AWWA: @awwa_acceptingwhoweare

• Rachel: @rachelperu1

• Tina: @mrsbdoesmidlife

And finally, from me to you

You don't have to lose weight, look younger, get smaller or change a single bloody thing about yourself to deserve a wonderful life.

You don't need fixing.

You are allowed to take up space.

You are allowed to be seen.

You are allowed to feel gorgeous, in big knickers or none at all.

And most of all, you are allowed to be exactly who you are.

Because isn't that what accepting who we are is really all about?

Some women are brilliant at bringing other women together. Rachel and Tina are two of the very best. Now go and get yourself measured.

Love from Missy Moo xxx